A Holey Solution

Coming off the train today in downtown Atlanta I heard through my earbuds someone calling out "free coffee!" I paused, silenced my listening device, and turned my attention to two young people manning a coffee cart. Noticing me, the male of the duo asked brightly,
"Want some free coffee?"
"Cool beans." Was my terribly clever and on point reply, knowing full well the coffee wasn't truly free.
"What are you guys peddling?" I inquired as the gent filled my cup.
"We represent the UN initiative nothingbutnets.com that hopes to prevent the spread of malaria in Africa by providing families with mosquito nets."
"The UN, as in the United Nations?" I said while raising my eyebrows quite unnoticeably behind my sunglasses.
"Sure thing. "
"Sugar or Splenda?" Now the female of the duo was talking to me as the male turned his attention to someone new.
"Neither, I'm good. So mosquito nets, huh?"
"That's right, all it takes is $10 to buy a bed net, distribute it to a family, and explain its use. Would you like to donate or sign our email list?"
"I'm sorry, say it one more time for me, mosquito nets?"
"Yes, treated with a little insecticide--"
"DDT?"

All of a sudden her eyes got big.

"No, no of course not! Just a harmless little insecticide--"
At this point the male joined back in with,
"Yes, insecticide--"
"He's asking about DDT!" The female quickly whispered.
"Oh..." He turned away. The female returned her attention to me,
"Not DDT, we don't want to cause birth defects or--"

"I'm sorry, but do you realize that the inventor of DDT won the Nobel prize because of how many lives it saved by stopping malaria? Before it was banned in the seventies, there were 17 reported deaths from Malaria a year on average. After it was banned that number jumped to 2 million. It wasn't even banned for birth defects, but rather because hypothetically it could reduce bird populations, ospreys I think were the test case."

Because, you know, birds matter more than people.

"But....doesn't it cause cancer?" The female stammered.
"No, not in any conclusive way. Do your research. The UN would have you out here soliciting money for mosquito nets which, God knows the Africans probably have a good grasp on the concept of by now, rather than actually do something useful like un-ban a Nobel prize winning insecticide that can save millions of lives."

At this point both the guy and girl were simply starring at me.

"But thanks for the coffee."Retards.