9/30/08

Facts, They Tend to Hurt


Talking to my Chinese friend who trades commodities on the market is often a confusing experience for me, both because his English is muddled and the things he talks about are complicated. The other day he tried to extensively explain to me the reason for this "financial crisis" and where most of the blame lies. He mentioned sub-prime loans, and then went on to explain something about Moody and "A ratings", and then Fannie Mae....I had trouble following it.

Somebody has kindly clarified the situation in a handy Youtube video, and I now have put the pieces together. What my friend, who is from China and has the most objective interest in U.S. affairs as one can have, was essentially telling me was that the banks were only partly to blame for the subprime bubble because the Democrats had put in place social engineering regulations that were destined to fail from day one.

Watch the entirety of this video. Everything in it is verifiable.

For Lee: Fair and Balanced

Just Kidding!

First off, some observations.
Most of these kids are white.
The chorus leader is clearly of East Asian dissent.
So yeah...unity and diversity.

Best line: "Nations all join as one." Wow, that sounds vaguely like something I saw in a movie once.

Anyway, if this video proves nothing else it at least demonstrates how California is literally insane.

UPDATE:
Apparently some NBC execs (big surprise) had a hand in this little freak show:

"The likes of Jeff Zucker, Holly Schiffer, Peter Rosenfeld, Darin Moran, Jean Martin, Andy Blumenthal, and Nick Phoenix rearranged schedules to participate. Holly Schiffer was able to get three High Definition cameras (Panasonic HVX250’s), and an AVID editing facility. When Jeff Zucker went to pick up the camera package, Ted Schilowitz happened to be there and offered a RED camera set up on a Steadi Cam. "

UPDATE OF THE UPDATE:

According to some more people, Jeff Zucker was not involved. (yeah right.)

Anyway, according to Obama's own website, this video "embodies the nature of the Obama campaign."

Dinosaurs Are Important to Me Too!

Must Be the Obamessiah Discount


With all this rigmarole about "financial crises" and "congress sucking" and "end of Western wealth as we know it" talk flying around, I think it is only appropriate to point out some more of Obama's hypocrisies.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. How did I just go from financial crises to Obama? Should be obvious...because Obama, if elected, would certianly shepard us into a new era of depression with his meddling socialist ideas that mirror and exceed those of FDR that still plague us to this day. Not tracking? Well read THIS LINK where some smart people talk about it, and come back to me when you're finished.

Back yet? Good, so here's the story I bring today about Obama. It involves money and some nonsense about "equal pay for equal work." I'm not familiar with this concept, but apparently its a big deal to some women out there. Here's the rub, Obama has been attacking McCain and Palin for not supporting "wage equality." Turns out, after a careful examination of some things Obama isn't familar with--FACTS--we learn that women who work for Obama in the Senate make less then their male counterparts. And to garnish things, the female aides in McCain's office actually make more then their male counterparts on average. Plus McCain has more women working for him period than Obama (a dangerous move on the Mavericks part, If you ask me.)

FULL STORY HERE from National Review Online (and its written by a black man, so you can't call it racist.)

Look at the numbers (they don't lie). In the interest of full disclouser, I stole the link to this story from a friend of mine who posted it on facebook first. She's a girl, so I guess this whole "wage equality" thing makes sense to her. Go figure.

9/29/08

Put Your Right Buy-in, Pull Your Left Bail-out, and Shake It All About


The topic of discussion everywhere in America today is of course the $700 Billion bailout plan that was shot down in congress today. Of course, here in Atlanta we are a little more concerned about our lack of Gas...but I digress.

The final vote was 205 aye to 228 nay, with 65 Republican for it, and 95 Dems against it.

I don't pretend to know the best course of action in this situation (Okay, I do), but I do know as a rule of thumb that if the likes of Pelosi and 140 other Democrats are for a thing--its a safe bet its the wrong decision.

Here is a LINK to the roll call on the vote so you can see how your own personal representataive voted. Let's keep 'em honest people.

9/28/08

THROWIN' BONES #2



In general, I dislike competitions that are designed to pit a bunch of amateur filmmakers against each other for a lackluster prize. There are many of them out there, and new ones are being invented all the time. There are good reasons for this, but having participated in a few they all leave me feeling used.

Now, in truth, my entire life and future career are embroiled in one sort of competition or another right now, and in many respects that's all the job market is anyway; one big biased competition. Thus, even though I find these sorts of little video competitions lame (the previously mentioned Campus Movie Fest being at the top of the list), I can sometimes still respect the success of those who do manage, for whatever reason, to come out on top....but usually only when I know the people involved.

Like my friends Hetty and Kyle, who participated in a contest put on in Atlanta by a local car dealership and a Christian radio station. "What?" You may be rightly asking yourself. "What do a local car dealership, a Christian radio station, and video contests have to do with each other?"
I'm not entirely sure, other than I know the radio station hosted the contest, open to everyone, to produce a thirty second ad for the dealership. The entries would then be voted on by the station's listeners (and obviously friends and family of the contestants). The end result would find the winners with 5 grand, the dealership with a quality commercial on the cheap, and I guess publicity for the radio station.

In all fairness, the contest was a smart move on the part of the dealership because they got to review quality (and not so) videos to choose which one they would have as a commercial instead of the gamble of hiring some local production company to straight up make a piece that would inevitably shame all those involved. It's science.

So these good, Atlanta based amateur filmmakers Hetty and Kyle took on the challenge, and produced a really nice looking short that won (thanks in no small part to canvassing Facebook for votes.) I've known the two winners for a while now, and actually was in school with Kyle. His projects were always quality and it comes as no surprise that the duo pulled of the win. Here's a look at the piece:


Hetty and Kyle work for this website: Tomorrow Pictures.
I can't really describe the site, so just check it out.

9/27/08

No More Newman

Paul Newman is dead, which sucks, but he was old so I guess it was inevitable.

If you haven't seen many (or any) of his films, then you are doing yourself a great disservice. He was a fine actor indeed, and from all accounts a classy gentleman in real life. He was one of those liberals who didn't feel the need to inject his politics into everything, and I can respect that.



And just for kicks, here is a video of Charleton Heston and Paul Newman debating Nuclear Arms.

9/26/08

Friday Batman

These Boots are Made for Controversy

I've got nothing better to do, so I'm going to toot my own horn.

One of the last projects I made while in school as a Film and Video major was a "table-top" piece called Paddy Doyle's Boots. The guidelines for the project were that it had to be enacted on a table, in miniature, or all in extreme close-up. I went with miniatures, because that gave me an excuse to bust out my old GI Joes and play with them in front of a camera (as though I needed an excuse.)

I decided while planning the piece that I was tired of the extreme and accepted liberal bias of both my professor and classmates alike, and set out to get some good ol' conservative criticism in edgewise. It was the first time I did this, having remained (mostly) apolitical in my previous offerings, making instead a point to create moral parables. Before I continue with my story, go ahead and take a look at the short. It's only about three and a half minutes.



So as you can see, I turned my table-top project into a criticism of modern war journalism and the media's insistence on moral equivalency in its handling of Islam and the War on Terror. Unfortunately, my supposedly open-minded professor wasn't amused. In fact, he was quite offended and let me know just how much he disapproved by grading me down to a low B. His reasons? He said some of the jokes fell flat. That's it. Jokes he didn't like or get, he said "fell flat." Nobody else was graded on the quality of the humor in their projects. I challenged the professor on this, and his example was the CNN logo at the end.
I asked him, "If it had been Fox News, would that have been better?"
He said yes. He actually told me, that if I had used the Fox News logo instead of the CNN logo, I would have received a better grade.
That B cost me graduating Summa Cum Laude.

One more story about this project:

On the Saturday afternoon I began filming, I set up a table and green screen in my living room. I put the camera on sticks and arrayed all of my GI Joes and associated props. Then I lit everything with Arri lights, so it got hot quickly (I think this was in April). As is my custom, I stripped down to only my boxer shorts to keep from sweating to death. After all, I was alone in my own apartment.

At one point I was holding one of the GI Joes, molding him into position when I heard the door open. Assuming it was one of my roommates, I paid no attention. Then I heard a muffled giggle.

I turned around to see a strange girl standing behind me as I stood in my boxers, seemingly playing with toys in front of a camera.

"Oh, hey. What's up?" I asked.

She exploded into laughter and ran upstairs to my roommates room. I never saw her again.

9/25/08

More on Che



I am waiting for someone to make this movie:

A young boy survives years of abuse at the hands of his father. An artist at heart, he struggles to enter the established art circles only to be rejected repeatedly, eventually ending up homeless and alone. Through sheer will and determination, he rises above his circumstances and the oppressive system that is trying to keep him down. He becomes a decorated war veteran, and eventually a celebrated politician who steps out on the scene to bring his country back from the brink of destruction.

I even have a title: Young Hitler.
I imagine Christian Bale for the lead.

The film I just described is analogous to a very popular picture from a few years back entitled The Motorcycle Diaries. Nearly every time I talk to a admittedly left-leaning film-watcher about movies, they bring this one up. The film also frequently comes up in conversation when Che is mentioned, or specifically when I near gag at the question, "Are you going to see Soderbergh's four hour Guevara epic?"

No I haven't seen The Motorcycle Diaries, nor do I plan too.
"Why not?"
Well, I say, do you actually know anything about the man Ernesto Guevara? If you did, you would likely take offense to a hagiographical depiction of a mass murdering Soviet totalitarian. Just like a Young Hitler would piss you off. I then ask, have you seen Garcia's The Lost City (and of course they haven't, but you should)?

I then go on to try and explain "Che" to people, but they roll their eyes and mutter something about Bush. The crazy thing is, liberals are the ones who should most detest a man like Che...or Castro...or Chavez. The way these Latin American dictators have destroyed the rights of poets, homosexuals, political dissidents, and so on is second only to the atrocities perpetrated daily by the Islamo-Fascists regimes.

Slate is a liberal publication, very liberal, but somehow one of their writers realized the idiocy of his peers and wrote this incredible article that exposes Che for what he was, and goes on to explain the many ways his legacy is still one of oppression and death.

Here is the article in its entirety:

The Cult of Che

Don't applaud The Motorcycle Diaries.

By Paul Berman

The cult of Ernesto Che Guevara is an episode in the moral callousness of our time. Che was a totalitarian. He achieved nothing but disaster. Many of the early leaders of the Cuban Revolution favored a democratic or democratic-socialist direction for the new Cuba. But Che was a mainstay of the hardline pro-Soviet faction, and his faction won. Che presided over the Cuban Revolution's first firing squads. He founded Cuba's "labor camp" system—the system that was eventually employed to incarcerate gays, dissidents, and AIDS victims. To get himself killed, and to get a lot of other people killed, was central to Che's imagination. In the famous essay in which he issued his ringing call for "two, three, many Vietnams," he also spoke about martyrdom and managed to compose a number of chilling phrases: "Hatred as an element of struggle; unbending hatred for the enemy, which pushes a human being beyond his natural limitations, making him into an effective, violent, selective, and cold-blooded killing machine. This is what our soldiers must become …"— and so on. He was killed in Bolivia in 1967, leading a guerrilla movement that had failed to enlist a single Bolivian peasant. And yet he succeeded in inspiring tens of thousands of middle class Latin-Americans to exit the universities and organize guerrilla insurgencies of their own. And these insurgencies likewise accomplished nothing, except to bring about the death of hundreds of thousands, and to set back the cause of Latin-American democracy—a tragedy on the hugest scale.

The present-day cult of Che—the T-shirts, the bars, the posters—has succeeded in obscuring this dreadful reality. And Walter Salles' movie The Motorcycle Diaries will now take its place at the heart of this cult. It has already received a standing ovation at Robert Redford's Sundance film festival (Redford is the executive producer of The Motorcycle Diaries) and glowing admiration in the press. Che was an enemy of freedom, and yet he has been erected into a symbol of freedom. He helped establish an unjust social system in Cuba and has been erected into a symbol of social justice. He stood for the ancient rigidities of Latin-American thought, in a Marxist-Leninist version, and he has been celebrated as a free-thinker and a rebel. And thus it is in Salles' Motorcycle Diaries.

The film follows the young Che and his friend Alberto Granado on a vagabond tour of South America in 1951-52—which Che described in a book published under the title Motorcycle Diaries, and Granado in a book of his own. Che was a medical student in those days, and Granado a biochemist, and in real life, as in the movie, the two men spent a few weeks toiling as volunteers in a Peruvian leper colony. These weeks at the leper colony constitute the dramatic core of the movie. The colony is tyrannized by nuns, who maintain a cruel social hierarchy between the staff and the patients. The nuns refuse to feed people who fail to attend mass. Young Che, in his insistent honesty, rebels against these strictures, and his rebellion is bracing to witness. You think you are observing a noble protest against the oppressive customs and authoritarian habits of an obscurantist Catholic Church at its most reactionary.

Yet the entire movie, in its concept and tone, exudes a Christological cult of martyrdom, a cult of adoration for the spiritually superior person who is veering toward death—precisely the kind of adoration that Latin America's Catholic Church promoted for several centuries, with miserable consequences. The rebellion against reactionary Catholicism in this movie is itself an expression of reactionary Catholicism. The traditional churches of Latin America are full of statues of gruesome bleeding saints. And the masochistic allure of those statues is precisely what you see in the movie's many depictions of young Che coughing out his lungs from asthma and testing himself by swimming in cold water—all of which is rendered beautiful and alluring by a sensual backdrop of grays and browns and greens, and the lovely gaunt cheeks of one actor after another, and the violent Andean landscapes.

The movie in its story line sticks fairly close to Che's diaries, with a few additions from other sources. The diaries tend to be haphazard and nonideological except for a very few passages. Che had not yet become an ideologue when he went on this trip. He reflected on the layered history of Latin America, and he expressed attitudes that managed to be pro-Indian and, at the same time, pro-conquistador. But the film is considerably more ideological, keen on expressing an "indigenist" attitude (to use the Latin-American Marxist term) of sympathy for the Indians and hostility to the conquistadors. Some Peruvian Marxist texts duly appear on the screen. I can imagine that Salles and his screenwriter, José Rivera, have been influenced more by Subcomandante Marcos and his "indigenist" rebellion in Chiapas, Mexico, than by Che.

And yet, for all the ostensible indigenism in this movie, the pathos here has very little to do with the Indian past, or even with the New World. The pathos is Spanish, in the most archaic fashion—a pathos that combines the Catholic martyrdom of the Christlike scenes with the on-the-road spirit not of Jack Kerouac (as some people may imagine) but of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, a tried-and-true formula in Spanish culture. (See Benito Pérez Galdós' classic 19th-century novel Nazarín.) If you were to compare Salles' The Motorcycle Diaries, with its pious tone, to the irrevent, humorous, ironic, libertarian films of Pedro Almodóvar, you could easily imagine that Salles' film comes from the long-ago past, perhaps from the dark reactionary times of Franco—and Almodóvar's movies come from the modern age that has rebelled against Franco.

The modern-day cult of Che blinds us not just to the past but also to the present. Right now a tremendous social struggle is taking place in Cuba. Dissident liberals have demanded fundamental human rights, and the dictatorship has rounded up all but one or two of the dissident leaders and sentenced them to many years in prison. Among those imprisoned leaders is an important Cuban poet and journalist, Raúl Rivero, who is serving a 20-year sentence. In the last couple of years the dissident movement has sprung up in yet another form in Cuba, as a campaign to establish independent libraries, free of state control; and state repression has fallen on this campaign, too.

These Cuban events have attracted the attention of a number of intellectuals and liberals around the world. Václav Havel has organized a campaign of solidarity with the Cuban dissidents and, together with Elena Bonner and other heroic liberals from the old Soviet bloc, has rushed to support the Cuban librarians. A group of American librarians has extended its solidarity to its Cuban colleagues, but, in order to do so, the American librarians have had to put up a fight within their own librarians' organization, where the Castro dictatorship still has a number of sympathizers. And yet none of this has aroused much attention in the United States, apart from a newspaper column or two by Nat Hentoff and perhaps a few other journalists, and an occasional letter to the editor. The statements and manifestos that Havel has signed have been published in Le Monde in Paris, and in Letras Libres magazine in Mexico, but have remained practically invisible in the United States. The days when American intellectuals rallied in any significant way to the cause of liberal dissidents in other countries, the days when Havel's statements were regarded by Americans as important calls for intellectual responsibility—those days appear to be over.

I wonder if people who stand up to cheer a hagiography of Che Guevara, as the Sundance audience did, will ever give a damn about the oppressed people of Cuba—will ever lift a finger on behalf of the Cuban liberals and dissidents. It's easy in the world of film to make a movie about Che, but who among that cheering audience is going to make a movie about Raúl Rivero?

As a protest against the ovation at Sundance, I would like to append one of Rivero's poems to my comment here. The police confiscated Rivero's books and papers at the time of his arrest, but the poet's wife, Blanca Reyes, was able to rescue the manuscript of a poem describing an earlier police raid on his home. Letras Libres published the poem in Mexico. I hope that Rivero will forgive me for my translation. I like this poem because it shows that the modern, Almodóvar-like qualities of impudence, wit, irreverence, irony, playfulness, and freedom, so badly missing from Salles' pious work of cinematic genuflection, are fully alive in Latin America, and can be found right now in a Cuban prison.

Search Order
by Raúl Rivero

What are these gentlemen looking for
in my house?

What is this officer doing
reading the sheet of paper
on which I've written
the words "ambition," "lightness," and "brittle"?

What hint of conspiracy
speaks to him from the photo without a dedication
of my father in a guayabera (black tie)
in the fields of the National Capitol?

How does he interpret my certificates of divorce?

Where will his techniques of harassment lead him
when he reads the ten-line poems
and discovers the war wounds
of my great-grandfather?

Eight policemen
are examining the texts and drawings of my daughters,
and are infiltrating themselves into my emotional networks
and want to know where little Andrea sleeps
and what does her asthma have to do
with my carpets.

They want the code of a message from Zucu
in the upper part
of a cryptic text (here a light triumphal smile
of the comrade):
"Castles with music box. I won't let the boy
hang out with the boogeyman. Jennie."

A specialist in aporia came,
a literary critic with the rank of interim corporal
who examined at the point of a gun
the hills of poetry books.

Eight policemen
in my house
with a search order,
a clean operation,
a full victory
for the vanguard of the proletariat
who confiscated my Consul typewriter,
one hundred forty-two blank pages
and a sad and personal heap of papers
—the most perishable of the perishable
from this summer.

Batman Financial

I wish I was clever enough to have made this.

What? Communists are Liars?


There are a group of people in this world (largely in American Universities and European coffee shops) that believe that even though some parts of Communist regimes aren't ideal, they are still more admirable than the Bush administration, or America in general. People believe this because they are both ignorant and foolhardy. Symptoms of this affliction often manifest themselves in ironic (sometimes intentional, most times not) ways such as Che T-Shirts and Chi-Com chique handbags.

I am sure many of these pro-Communist hipsters and intellectuals have a soft spot for China, and just gobbled up all the BS at Beijing this summer, so to them this might come as a shock:

The Chinese government, apart from being cheaters (here's looking at you baby gymnasts) are unabashed liars.

Apparently, hours before the actual "launch" of China's new "space mission" a document detailing the success of said launch hit the internet. That's right, the launch was a success before it happened. Of course, maybe the Chinese government wasn't faking results, maybe they can just see into the future. I hear excessive intake of MSG can give you that ability.

Read on HERE.

9/24/08

THROWIN' BONES


Since, being the Free-Lancer, I come into contact with lots of other "industry" people (or wannabe industry people) it only seems right to throw some of those guys (and dolls) a bone every once and a while. Now, don't get me wrong, its a cutthroat business out there, but its also very nepotistic. Thus when you get in with somebody, become friends or allies, its always nice to keep them close. One lancer is a merely a soldier, many lancers can become an army.

In the spirit of compariotism (a word I just created) I am adding this segment:
THROWIN' BONES

In this segment I will regularly highlight and bring to your attention the work and efforts of people I like, and sometimes people I disdain so as to make a mockery of them. Atlanta is a small pond, so after a while everybody gets to know everybody, if only by name and reputation.

So to kick things off I bring to your attention the work of my two new friends Jason and Ethan, who ran cameras on the Canada shoot (and before in Atlanta). They, a couple months back, won the ignominious Campus Movie Fest with their short 'Til Death. Its well shot, mildly clever, and just an all around good piece. It is surprising to me that they won, given the inane judging process of CMF....but that's just my bitterness coming up.

Anyway, here Tis:



Jason and Ethan have their own company based out of Athens, Ga called Eikon. The name is lame sauce, but supposedly it's Greek.

The House that Ted Built


Today I went on set of the TBS show Movie and a Makeover while it was taping over at Turner Studios in Atlanta.

I was put in contact with the prop master, who is a very kind lady, and she invited me on to meet the crew and try to drum myself up a job. I met the Production Manager who was impressed (as were they all) that I had just driven a grip truck (or van as the case may be) up to Canada and back. Studio people really don't get the freelance scene, so I guess that amount of effort would seem exceptional. The PM gave me her card and told me to send my resume her way...so God willing something will come of that.

I stuck around to watch the taping and was pleasently surprised by the crew, who were a jolly bunch, particularly the two camera operators Ron and Al. Both men are older, maybe forties/fifties, and they kept up a steady banter during the shoot.

Ron: "Al, get that shot medium with thirds."
Al: "I don't know if I can."
Ron: "You could if you were a real camera man."
Later
Al (to the talent): "Mia, I need separation."
Ron: "But Al, she's got separation anxiety."
And so on.

Apparently today was Al's last day, so he, Ron, and some others were heading after the shoot to a Mexican place called Hermanos. Ron and Al put an arm around each other's shoulder as they left crying, "To Hermanos! We're gonna be hermanos!"

I also learned that the so called "experts" (in fashion, beauty, etc.) at least on this show are nothing more then guys or gals who hop on google 20 minutes before the shoot to find some "tips." That and a pretty face will get you anywhere I guess.

Criminal Flatulence


In Canada, there was a lot of chatter amongst the crew about BMs (bowel movements), because as many of you may know, travel messes with your regularity. Not to mention weird Canadian food.

Good thing we weren't in Charleston, where farting on a cop is apparently a crime.

Debate Watch Parties

Michelle Obama is suggesting we all do retarded things like, for instance, vote for her husband.

Or just, you know, have a debate watch party.

Just skip to minute marker 1:20.




Uh huh.

9/23/08

Canada Wrap-Up



So this is how it went. We drove up from Atlanta, through the Devil land of Indiana, to Chicago. From there we hit Canada. We filmed around Ontario for five days, starting in a little lakeside town called Port Elgin, which as I already mentioned, thinks it has the best sunsets in the world.

At Port Elgin we stayed at the Canadian Auto Workers Union retreat center, which was a nice, big place built on the backs of unionized labor. There we interviewed the current and former president of the CAW, shot an interview on the Lake Huron beach, and ate like kings. Apparently on the last night, when we were conspicuously absent at some snazzy Swiss resteraunt in the town, we (the crew) recieved a standing ovation from the Sociali---er, Union people.

I guess at this point I could mention the crew which was me as the key grip (well, the only grip) Andrew as Sound, Brandon Thompson (a good friend) as DP and steadicam operator, two fine fellows named Ethan and Jason (new friends) on camera, and our editor/field producer Jare from New Mexico.
Brandon is often confused by things.


LaToya (Andrew's wife) was hanging around taking stills, and to round it out we had a volunteer Canadian named Karen conducting the interviews for us since she new most of the people, herself being deeply involved in trying to unionize Canada's clergy. Her husband is or was a minister, I believe. Oh, and this guy was there as well, since he wrote a book on the subject of "clergy killers" (the main focus of the doc.)

Right before we left Port Elgin we recieved news that one of our subject's had suffered a heart attack and died, so we couldn't interview him or his wife anymore....obviously.

Our next stop was a big college town south of Toronto called Hamilton, where we filmed two interviews. The first was at the McMaster University where we interviewed a sociology professor, who Karen kept calling a socialist instead of sociologist. He didn't mind of course, since he was a socialist. His interivew was a wash because all he did was rant about workers rights or something stupid like that. I don't know, I wasn't listening.

Hamilton was a cool town, and while we were eating at a British Pub called the Snooty Fox, we encountered a party for a Canadian swimming olympiad who attented the university. She let us check out her medals from Bejing. I tried to pocket the gold one, but LaToya kept frowning at me for some reason.

After Friday everything fell apart, interview wise. Other than the guy who died, another fellow fell ill and was taken to the hospital, and a third subject pulled out because he was afraid we were making a hit piece. Satruday we filmed some lame stuff then hit Toronto, which is nice but no more special than any big American city, and less impressive to me then Melbourne or Sydney. Lake Ontario is, however, just as gorgeously blue as Lake Huron.

Sunday we wrapped at Karen's house in the countrside, where she and her family fed us an amazing lunch before Andrew and I loaded up the van and heading back to Chicago. Monday was spent almost entirely on the road.


All in all a decent adventure, in good company. The producer was telling Andrew and I that there was more work ahead through the month of October as they try to get everything finished (the doc is 2 years in the making already) and we could be going to Sydney or Rome at some point. I'm a bit skeptical, but Canada worked out, so I guess we shall see.

Canadian Pork


Whenever anyone asks me about Canada, one of the things that is inevitably asked is,
"Did you eat any Canadian bacon?" Or something along those lines.

Interestingly, I did eat bacon in Canada, but it wasn't what is called Canadian bacon. Even in Canada they call "Canadian bacon" Canadian bacon, and other bacon just plain bacon, even though, technically, any bacon from Canada is Canadian bacon. I believe the phenomenon is analogous to "American" cheese.

One of the key components of the world famous Egg McMuffin is the slab of Canadian bacon. I had the opportunity to eat breakfast at a Canadian McDonalds, which are almost as ubiquitous as Tim Hortons (another topic) and I proceeded to order the traditional morning treat. It was prominently featured on the menu with the ingredients proudly enumerated:
English Muffin
Egg
Cheese
Canandian Bacon.
Mind you, this was in Canada. Anyway, the sandwich was prepared and given over for my consumption. I must admit, I was excited. Here I was in Canada, about to eat my first piece of truly "Canadian" Canadian bacon. I slowly removed the wrapper, greeted by a fresh burst of breakfasty steam, smelling of sweet satisfaction. Then I looked at the McMuffin in dismay.

It had sausage on it.

Canada had struck out again.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems


I got paid for the Canada shoot. The money is in the bank, check cleared, bing bang boom.
This is important, because in the world of freelance, nobody's got your back and sketchiness is the rule of law. There are plenty of producers out there who make it a point to put the "free" in freelance.

I know a guy, a friend who is part of the Atlanta freelance scene who DP'ed (Director of Photography for you civilians) the Canada shoots who is still waiting on upwards of 5 grand from various other jobs. Andrew has received bad checks, and plenty of times not been paid the full amount agreed up on. So these things happen, though they thankfully have never happened to me.

There are plenty of things I could tell you about this shoot alone that would make you squint, nod, and say "oh really", but as the possibility of more work on this documentary looms in the future (I learned the name is officially "Forsaken") I don't want to say too much.

9/22/08

America is Great, but Indiana is Still Lame

Crossing the border back into the greatly under appreciated USA last night, I learned two things:

1) Canada is a waste of a country (Imagine if you tried to copy America and got all the important things wrong)

and

2) The US Border security obviously does not feel threatened by Georgians. It took us all of 8 minutes to cross back into Michigan from Ontario, with a van packed to the seems with stuff, and the officer didn't even look inside. Oh well.

Writing this, I am stuck in a coffee shop in the downtown of a Chicagoland suburb waiting on our producer to show up to retrieve the company gear. I just want to get out of The City of Obama in the Land of Lincoln, but the the hell of driving across Indiana still awaits us. Tis a grim day.


A display immediately inside the door of an Indiana Wal-Mart. In Indiana, they don't beat around the Busch.

Last night after we crossed back into Michigan (another essentially worthless state) we stopped at a Cracker Barrel to eat dinner. The food, as you know, is "country style" and all pretty much traditional Southern fare. So the food looked like Southern food, and had the same names as Southern food (country fried steak, greens, cornbread) but none of it tasted even remotely right. My cabbage was brown, the greens tasted like plain salty water, and the cornbread was not even worthy of the name. Which reminds me; they have sweet iced tea in Ontario, but it is so lemon flavored you might as well be drinking an Arnold Palmer.

I know you readers probably want delicious anecdotes, and I will bring them to you as soon as I am back in Atlanta and in front of a computer for nine hours a day again.

I leave you with a picture of one of Port Elgin, Ontario's legendary sunsets over Lake Huron.



9/20/08

Ontari-woah!

I am writing from the hotel of the Quality Inn at Mississauga, which is about 20 or so minutes away from Toronto...near the airport.

Yesterday we parted ways with the Union folks at the CAW (the food was good, but the socialism was better) and we drove three hours across Ontario to a place called Hamilton where we filmed two interviews; one at McMaster University and one in an old church.

We're about to roll out to film one more interview in Hamilton before heading into Toronto to enjoy the "international" city (which is a euphemism for "over-run with Somalis and other Islmo-fascist).

Later I will address certain Canadian issues I'm sure you are all dying to here me rant about such as: more socialism, the ridiculous taxes, road work on weekends on major highways, etc.

9/18/08

The House that Socialism Built


The problem with Canada is, of course, Canadians. We are shooting here in Ontario, where everybody has that funny accent where they say "aboot" and the occasional "eh?" Oh, and they can't take jokes about Canada, and they think they are superior to America in everyway. So that's nice. There is a reason we make jokes about Canada, and you see those reasons everywhere you look: random people with field hockey sticks on the Lake Huron beach, signs for fire hydrants right behind the hydrants that simply display a picture of the already clearly visible hydrant itself. Little things like that.


I made an offhand comment about how the reason the French call "french fries" "frites" is because American's invented them. A Canadian woman heard this and very sternly told me that, no, American's did not invent french fries.


We are shooting now at a retreat center built by the Canadian Auto Workers Union, on the shores of the beautiful Lake Huron. We stay in nice, hotel-like rooms, and are fed three squares by the Union Lunch Ladies in the Union Cafeteria. We were informed in one of our interviews with the former president of CAW that "every brick and nail in this place was put in by Union Labor." The reason we are shooting here is that the clergy in Canada are trying to unionize, and the CAW is getting that ball rolling for them. I won't go into all the obvious issues with such a move right now, but suffice to say, socialism is the rule up here. It has personally been very hard for me to keep my anti-Marxist rhetoric and jokes to a hush.


Things have gone well, all in all, the hours are tiring, but free-lance isn't for sissies. Lake Huron is deep, clear blue and gorgeous. The weather is already fall here, and refreshingly cool. It's just a shame that America didn't claim everything up here when we had the chance.

Indiana is for the Birds

Monday we started the day on the Chicago skyway on the road to some place called “Michigan.” From this strange sounding land we began our Canadian invasion.

So how did we get to that point? The short answer is a lot of hellacious driving, mostly through the Devil’s backyard of Indiana. If you’ve never been to Indiana, you’re fortunate, because this is all there is:


Corn


We flew through Georgia, Tennessee, and Kan-tuk-ee enjoying the always pleasing scenery of the South (why would you live anywhere else?) and then hit corn. Endless fields of corn. Not only was Indiana already the longest leg of the trip in the plan, but Tuce, true to form, screwed his personal financial business all up forcing us to ride along in the, well saying middle-of-nowhere in Indiana is redundant, farther reaches of nowhere to find a post office. Of course, that didn’t exactly work out thanks to the recent ravages of hurricane Ike’s left-overs. Nearly the whole of the state was flooded or out of power.

The main interstate to Chicago was shut down about two hours away, and we were diverted through more corn down a country road to another freeway on the other side of the state. It was great.

The highlight of the trip was when we stopped at a rural Indiana Wal-Mart and, while standing inline at the checkout, it came out that we were from Georgia. On hearing this, a woman behind me asked,

"What part of Georgia?"

To which I replied, Savannah.

"Really?" She said with excitement, "I'm from North Carolina!"

I was compelled to state,

"Oh yeah......That's not even close.'

9/16/08

Tablets R Not Good for Blogging

The keypad died on my tablet, so this is all written with my Stylus. so this will be short
Chicago is big and pretty at night
Andrew is a retard
Canada tomorrow
More funny stories and real blog stuff later

9/14/08

The Northern Invasion


By this time in my life I have already accumulated a wealth of anecdotes related to "the industry" that I will be sure to bring to you in flashback segments.
However, we must press on with the future for tomorrow morning I mount my steed, cradle my lance, and ride north to invade Canada.

That is to say, I and my faithful compatriot Andrew Tucciarone, along with his wife and unborn child, will load up in a mini-van and drive to Chicago (Obama-Land), then on across the border into Ontario. I am gripping and Tucc is running sound on a documentary about "clergy killers." The subject is a little lame, but the people financing it are convinced that the biggest sellers in documentaries are sex and religion. In a twisted way, this has both. The producer, who I will call Steve, likens the project to an earlier releases called Jesus Camp, (which failed commercially but recieved awards recongition) a hit piece on evangelicals. I haven't seen the film, nor will I, but I gather that Clergy Killers is attempting to appeal to the same, lets say, "faith-curious" audience. The film already have garunteed distribution, so....

Anyway, Andrew got me involed with the project after he managed to get hired on for an couple interviews shot in our home-base of Atlanta. A couple weeks ago I also worked on an interview for the doc of a Catholic priest shot in Conyers (about 20 min down the road from Atlanta). Steve, the producer, liked my mojo, and Andrew was able to convince him to hire my lance to help out this coming week in Canada. LaToya is accompanying us as the legal car-renter, since neither Andrew nor I are technically allowed to fill that capacity. The unborn child is coming because it has no choice.

Thus we leave for Chicago (with company credit cards and USD45 a day per diem) come daybreak, and ride with all haste to film in the maple state, or whatever Canada calls itself.

The Knight takes up his Lance, or The Begininng

In today's "modern" world the term freelancer is used to denote an individual working in a field with no permanent ties to one company or corporation. Sir Walter Scott coined the term, in Ivanhoe, to literally mean a knight who rode around with his lance selling his service to whomever would pay. Thus, in its original context, a free-lancer was a mercenary.

That is who I am; an entertainment industry mercenary.

My goal is to infiltrate a realm of thought and action that is predominated by enemies of all shades and persuasion (forever generalized here as Leftist, Liberals, or Left-Wing Radicals) and do battle with my free-lance in hopes of one day setting up my own kingdom (metaphorically and literally.) To that end I need money, and experience, so right now my lance hires out with a fair amount of indiscriminate consideration. Yet, my goal remains...and every job is one step closer to victory.

How does that goal work out? Well, therein lie the stories, for every freelance job is an adventure in and of itself. Here I will recount those stories, along with throwing together anything that I find pertinent or interesting.

Trust me, this will not be a boring blog.

Yours Truly,
John Ford Milton, Free-Lancer