Cannucked---Part 1

Over four days beginning on Thursday morning and ending at 3am on Monday, I drove around the United States in a van. I was supposed to go to Toronto.
This is the story of how I got Cannucked.

Things went bad from the get-go, and only really got worse. Brandon Thompson, DP and Steadi-cam operator extraordinaire, was in charge of renting the van for our trip.
He, however, made the mistake of telling the rental company that we were bound for Canada. The woman at Budget heard that and promptly gave him an "oh no you didn't" denial. Brandon, feeling awfully stupid, picked me up that next morning and we tried again at another Budget. We changed our story ("Going to Chicago, sir") but unfortunately ole Poopy Pants (that's Brandon) had been flagged in the system. I smooth talked the attendant and got us the van, but the rental agreement had a large warning on the document that read "Strongly Advised Cannot Go To Canada." To remedy this unfortunate situation, Brandon and I used modern technology to our advantage, i.e. photoshop. With our forged copy of the rental agreement in hand, we set out on an 11 hour drive through rain, fog, sleet, and finally snow across the western reaches of the Southern States and through the Devil's backyard of Indiana into Obamaland (Chicago.)

Chicago was frozen solid and the minute we stepped out of the van upon arrival we realized that Yankees must be the stupidest people in the world. In our hotel we met up with the producer, Ole Greasy, and learned the specifics of our task. The next morning we were to pick up the editor, Jared, and drive up across the border at Port Huron, Michigan similar to the last trip I made in September (Jared and Brandon got to fly last time.) Once in Toronto we would film a conference being held by the Canadian Auto Workers union (CAW) wherein the Trotskyites would be screening a dedication film we produced earlier on the life of a Canadian priest who died while advocating a Clergy union. Later we would pick up some interviews, but the main gig was Saturday morning at nine. We were expected to arrive in Toronto sometime the prior evening.
If only things had been that simple.....

To be Continued...