LA Comes to Town

You may have noticed that I didn't post anything last week. I would like to blame that on the Obama administration, but they've already got enough problems. The truth is, I've been working a bit more than usual. Last week it was Airtran commercials, but before that it was "Clean House."

Let me start by saying that clean is a relative concept.
If you are not familiar with the Style Networks hit (maybe?) show "Clean House", it is a simple reality format program that has the black woman from Reno 911 come into people's cluttered homes and "clean" them with her stereoty--er, I mean, friends. Friend of the blog and oft-mentioned collaborator, Andrew, got on board as one of the sound guys and being the gregarious sort of fellow he is talked somebody into having come work for a day or two as a PA (which normally stands for "production assistant" but in my case stands for "production awesome.") In the production world, be it film, TV, or commercials, the PA is the bottom of the ladder. Essentially a PA is a grunt that can fill any sort of position and be given varying amounts of responsibility but always the least amount of money possible. Depending on the shoot, PA-ing can be rough business. On "Clean House" things weren't so bad. The LA crew were very laid back and easy to work with and I was treated on equal footing with the rest of the group of "locals."


The shoot was at a house in Smyrna owned by an Indian man and his obnoxious white Yankee wife. They also had three triplet boys. The actual house was cluttered from bottom to top with junk that had been horded away for years. The production, according to the format of the show, cleans three rooms as opposed to the whole house. Like I said, clean is relative. I arrived "on set" to find three big production trailers outside the home and a "craft T" (craft services tent) in the backyard. I will pause here to mention that one set, forget about a diet. Craft services is any healthy person's enemy with endless supplies of food, candy, and drinks and the allure is just too strong to resist during those long, often boring hours as a PA.

Anyway, my shift was from 4:30 Friday afternoon to 5:30 the next morning; an all night drag. I didn't end up going home until 8:30 (overtime baby!) so suffice to say my Saturday was shot. My basic task, along with the other PAs (production assistants, not production awesomes. I was the only one of those) was to load up all the useless "stuff" (we weren't allowed to call it "crap") into plastic bins for transportation to another location where we would then set up a yard sale. Even though we only "cleaned" three rooms, this took a very long time. In the corner of each room was set up a video camera on time lapse and we each wore blue shirts to feign anonymity. However, I am fairly certain that I will show up quite a few times if that footage makes it into the show. The end result was to go from cluttered rooms to empty rooms.

So who cleans the houses on "Clean House"? That's right, in this case it was me (and some other grunts.) By the end of the shift we were all exhausted and deliriously joking over the headsets of our walkies about everything from the state of the home to the plight of polar bears. Despite the backbreaking labor, it was a fun gig. As I mentioned, the LA people were cool and the set was my first real TV show experience. I met some of the talent, though not Neicy Nash, the main "star", although I didn't realize it at the time. I thought they were all just part of the crew until I got home and actually watched an episode. Star struck I was not.

After a "courtesy breakfast" I hopped in my car to leave. Down the road as I was fighting to stay I awake I was stopped at a traffic light for ten minutes while a parade of pickup trucks filled with little league baseballs teams drove past. Yes, you read that right. Apparently little league is a huge deal in Smyrna. I waited out the baseball related insanity and finally got a chance to be on my way, only to be blocked by the same parade a few streets down. How I made it home alive, I may never know.

I will be sure to inform you all of the date and time when the episode I worked on airs.