And The Winner Is...

Who cares.

Apparently Wolverine hosted.

Did you do your part and not watch the Oscars last night? I'm sure it wasn't hard. The numbers aren't in yet, but I'm sure they will be low if they are released at all. It's already past noon on Monday and people have moved on. The LA Times said the show was terrible, or rather a "not exactly enchanted evening." I for one, in protest to Academy over their snubbing of The Dark Knight and their pigheaded ignorance in general did not watch even a moment. Apparently Slumdog (big surprise) won almost all the majors and Heath got his statue for all the good it does him. The thing that really pisses me off, but doesn't surprise in the slightest, is Milk in true Academy fashion winning Best Original Screenplay so that the nobody can call the Oscars homophobic anymore. In Bruges deserved that award, hands down, and I hope that Martin McDonagh knows some real life hitmen to, you know....Anyway, I've said my piece about the Oscars; they were poop like I thought they'd be and predictable to boot.

Instead of watching the show, I (against my better judgment) went with Andrew to a premiere party for a show he did work on called "Ken Sweat's Platinum House". The show is of the "reality" format and concerns the HipHop group Dru Hill (which you may recall includes "Thong Song" one-hit-wonder Sisqo) as they try, and fail, to revitalize their dead music career. Suffice to say Andrew and I were two of about six white people out of some three hundred black people packed into a tiny, upscale restaurant/club called Aquanox. Given the circumstances, Andrew made it a point to introduce himself to everybody with "Sup, I'm Andrew, my wife is black." I think he did anyway, I couldn't actually hear anything over the classic Dru Hill tunes pumping through the PA system. I just stood by the pita bread and hummus wondering why in the world such a characteristically "white person" food was being served, all the while looking sharp in my suit and attracting the unwanted attention of a couple of creepy older black women. There are only so many times the same person can bump into you with, "oh, I'm sorry, baby" before it just looks desperate.

The funniest thing about the whole affair was that, aside from two or three other crew people who had shown up, the only people Andrew knew were the members of Dru Hill themselves. I met them, and still couldn't tell you who any of them are except Sisqo is blond and another dude has crazy silver designs on the side of this head. Wikipedia says his name is "Nokio the N-Tity."

If you are bored tonight around 10 pm Eastern, you can turn on your television to the Peachtree TV network and tune into "Ken Sweat's Platinum House" (promo is HERE) where, if you are quick enough, you can spot Andrew Tucciarone's name in the credits as "House Honkey" or something like that.
I don't know if Peachtree TV exists outside of Atlanta (its a Turner station) but if it doesn't, fear not, the show is only in the pilot stages right now and it may get picked up VH1. It probably won't, but you never know.