Globe Trotting

In a matter of days I will be packing up my lance and heading to Europe.

To that effect, posting hear will take a hiatus, but never fear. The entire chronicle of my (and my companions') endeavors shall be available for your reading pleasure at the brand new blog created specifically for the upcoming trip:

YANKS ACROSS THE POND.

I hope to blog a good amount over there, and even get videos up at regular intervals. I sort of dropped the ball on that in Australia last year (at least in regards to the video aspect.) However, I am now a seasoned travel writer, and Europe looks like it has a lot more available internet then Oz did.

Hope you check in.

Cheers.

Epitaph

To be scrawled in flowing script upon a headstone of obsidian:

All the world was a burning mass of unsatisfied yearnings and misplaced hopes,
yet the sun that set on the two of them died as beautifully as their dreams.

The Tain

I saw the The Decemberists live last night for the third time. Later I will tell you of the show, for twas awe-inspiring. However, for now I just want to point you to my favorite of their endeavors: the musical interpretation of the Táin Bó Cúailnge (pronoucned t-oi-n bo cooley), one of the most important works in Irish mythology (interpreted from Irish as "The Cattle Raid of Cooley").

Here, the 18 plus minute song simply entitled "The Tain" is visualized in an awesome paper-style animation that explains the story. Enjoy:

He's Just Not Into Chick Flicks

I don’t think I would be dropping any bombs on anyone in saying that I watch a lot of movies. If you could stream movies from my head you’d probably have a much better selection than what you can view for free at Hulu.com (shameless plug.) That being said, even though I watch an inordinate amount of films, I try to be selective. There are too many classics I haven’t seen for me to justify dropping down in front of something like Saw 2-5 (are they up to six yet?). I figured until I have seen every John Wayne movie, I won’t go near Twilight.

That being said, there are two periods of time every year that, for a few reasons, I engage in what can only be described as cinematic flagellation. The first period is of course “awards season” in the fall and early winter where all the crap meant to pass as the best in cinema that year is carted out in limited spurts to garner almost obligatory acclaim before being relegated a few months later to the five dollar bin at Wal-Mart (The Reader, for example.) I do my duty as a critic of film and culture and see nearly all of the nominated films (or potential nominees) primarily to write brilliantly articulated warnings to anyone and everyone who might mull over the idea of buying a ticket to Revolutionary Road instead of Gran Torino (one of last year's, nay the decade’s, best films).
That is my duty, and I take my charge as The Free-Lancer very seriously.

Now, the second period is a little less honorable. It is the time, usually during the summer, wherein for a host of reasons (boredom, too much freedom in front of a computer at work, curiosity, etc…) I spend a few weeks to a month watching....wait for it….romantic comedies. This is without a doubt one of the most painful times of my year. Sometimes I discover a gem (last year’s Definitely, Maybe was a surprising treat…and Zack Galiafinakis and Rob Cordrey were hilarious in the otherwise abysmal What Happens in Vegas.) Yet more often than not I feel like I have to work to finish these movies, and in the end I have lost just that much more faith in the American movie-going public. If ever there was a reason to be a misogynist, it is the modern chick flick.

Doesn't this guy look like Bradley Cooper?

I say all this because that dreaded period in my year has apparently begun for me again, as I have just finished watching He’s Just Not That Into You

…and I want to blow my brains out.

The movie is over two hours long, has maybe five jokes in it (despite a cast that boasts Justin Long, Bradley Cooper, and E from Entourage.) The length is the first problem, because all the insight this movie has to offer is in its title. The rest of the time is spent showing us the myriad ways in which women are insane, delusional, or just plain retarded. The great cast is wasted on a stupid, one note script, though the girl from Big Love was endearing. Scarlett Johansson just plays a whore like she always does, and Ben Affleck doesn’t get enough screen time. At the end of the movie the pearls of wisdom Hollywood wishes to leave us with are:
1) You can cheat on your wife and still keep you marriage, but you better not smoke cigarettes or you are the scum of the earth.
2) Women are allowed to break up marriages for “true love”, but if that guy goes back to his wife and leaves the adulteress, he is a horrible person.
3) We are meant to believe Justin Long is a stud (you know, the scrawny kid from Dodgeball.)
4) Sometimes your happy ending isn’t a person, it’s moving on…WTF?

Also, Drew Barrymore is in the movie for about a minute, and I have no idea why. Ultimately, the best part of the movie was the Keane song that played over the last few minutes.

Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions

Nobody cares about the MTV Movies awards. I have no idea why they even take the trouble to put the show on in the first place. However, it would be interesting to see how MTV stacks up against the Oscar's ratings wise.....

Anyway, one good thing to come out of the MTV Awards every year is the spoofs wherein comedians will be inserted into scenes from the previous year's popular films in parody--such as 2009's opening with host Andy Samberg added into Slumdog Millionaire, Twilight, The Reader, etc:

MTV Shows

This year however, the original content was taken to a whole new level as nearly a dozen Internet videos were created with Andy Samberg. (UPDATE: sorry, apparently MTV doesn't want you to see there promos anymore, because they've all the embed codes have been deactivated.)

However, probably the best video to come out of the whole thing was the music video homage to "cool guys walking away from explosions" featuring Samberg, Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond, and a very surprising guest:

MTV Shows